Sunday, October 28, 2012


I hate the word discipline.  It just makes me want to cringe, crawl in bed, hide underneath the covers, run away, etc.  Why is discipline so hard for so many of us?  Because it's painful.  Not fun.  Hard.

Most of you have probably noticed that I signed off Facebook for a time.  I didn't actually close my account, but I did have my husband change the password so I can't log on.  My reasons:  I spend too much idle time on Facebook, as well as the computer/internet in general, it's distracting, I compare my life and lot too often with others on Facebook, it reminds me of things in America when I need to be focusing my time and energy where Father has me.  This was only the first of many things that Father has pointed out to me in regards to how I spend my time.  So much of me wants to blame my lack of discipline on our circumstances.  In fact, this is what I have done up until this point.  I have begun to notice that it is not our circumstances (they are ever changing), the problem is in fact ME.

That's not pretty folks.  I hate admitting that the problem is ME.  I hate admitting my sin, period.  I want to seem like I have it all together.  I can dress in my fashionable clothes, put on makeup, fix my hair, and put a smile on my face that will make you think I have it all together.  The fact is, I DON'T.  Why do so many of us hide behind all of these things and pretend?  That's right ladies, I am calling you on the carpet.  I know I'm not the only one out there.  We love to post all the good stuff in our lives on Facebook and seem like we have it all together.  Then other women read what we've posted and think, "Wow, their life is so attractive."  Let's all be honest.  Our lives are messy.

I am trying to learn more about how to have more discipline in my life while staying honest about my own heart.  I have been reading Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess.  It is Honest. Real. Encouraging.

In the next 30 days I am going to be taking steps to a more disciplined life, but not in the effort to have it all together.  I will never have it all together.  I believe God has brought me to this place in my life to humble me.  It is in our weakness that Christ's strength really shines through.  If we have it all together then we aren't weak.  I will be posting from time to time about my new journey to discipline, my heart, and everything I learn along the way.   In the next post I will share about my goals.

What are some areas where you lack discipline?  

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